• Oh Sh*t, It's Time For The Elf Again

    9 days ago - By Scary Mommy

    It's time. It's a cold November morning and my toddler is losing it because her toy cell phone has stopped producing its mind-numbing sounds. I climb onto a chair and steady myself before opening the upper-cabinet doors and fish through the junk forgotten all the way up there. Finally I spot him - tattered hat, worn lanky appendages, and a small stain on his belly. His eyes are wide and he's staring at me from the spot he's been hidden in for the past eleven months. It's my wonderful, exhausting, controversial felt-made friend - my Elf on the Shelf - and it's almost time for his yearly...
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